He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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