I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
