I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
