i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Randomize
