hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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