none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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