Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
