Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
