If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
