i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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