then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
