Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize