we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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