She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
