i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
