I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
