you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
