How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
