Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
