his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
