Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize