hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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