i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
