i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
