just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
