Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
