garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
actually, I'm a sock model
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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