And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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