they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I intend to get homeless drunk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My vagina is officially offended.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
