having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You have to summon your inner elephant
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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