I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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