I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
