She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Drake has all the answers
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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