Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
