he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
