i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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