i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
