the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Who put my cat in the fridge?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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