The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
