I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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