Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize