who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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