so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
