I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
