I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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