I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize