Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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