its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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