ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
