the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
