That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
