Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
