I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
