Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was born a porn star she said
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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