He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
