So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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