How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want her autograph on my taint
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
