Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You ruined the universe
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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