i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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