i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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