where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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