dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
