Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she pinky promised me she was 18
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
